Lady Margaret was 92 years old, incredibly wealthy, sharp-tongued, and famous for never smiling.
For over 40 years, she had employed the same loyal butler, Alfred.
One morning, Alfred nervously approached her.
“Lady Margaret, may I ask for a raise?”
She slowly looked over her glasses.
“A raise? Alfred, what possible reason could there be?”
Alfred cleared his throat.
“Well, ma’am… there are three reasons.”
Lady Margaret sighed.
“Fine. Let’s hear them.”
Alfred took a deep breath.
“First, I’ve been working for you for over 40 years. I’ve never been late, never stolen anything, and I’ve never once complained.”
Lady Margaret nodded.
“Fair enough. What’s the second reason?”
Alfred swallowed.
“Second… I’ve been offered a job by another wealthy family. They’re willing to pay me twice what you currently pay.”
Lady Margaret raised an eyebrow.
“Is that so?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She leaned back in her chair.
“And your third reason?”
Alfred hesitated.
Then he whispered,
“Third… I know where you hid the chocolate biscuits.”
Lady Margaret’s eyes widened.
“The biscuits?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You mean the ones in the locked drawer?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The drawer nobody knows about?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She stared at him for several seconds.
Then, for the first time in over 40 years…
Lady Margaret smiled.
Alfred smiled nervously.
“So… about my raise?”
Lady Margaret stood up, walked over to the drawer, unlocked it, and handed him a biscuit.
“Alfred, after 40 years of loyal service, I think you deserve more than a raise.”
He smiled.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
She pointed toward the door.
“You deserve retirement.”
Alfred’s smile disappeared.
“Retirement?”
“Yes.”
She handed him the entire biscuit tin.
“And take these with you. Clearly, you know far too much.”
For the first time in 40 years, Alfred couldn’t tell whether Lady Margaret was joking.
Then she smiled again.
“Relax, Alfred. You’re the only person in this house I’d trust with my secrets.”
And Alfred finally understood why she’d kept him around for four decades.
Not because he was the best butler.
But because…
he knew where all the good biscuits were. 😂
