{"id":9245,"date":"2026-10-15T08:45:58","date_gmt":"2026-10-15T08:45:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/?p=9245"},"modified":"2026-10-15T08:45:58","modified_gmt":"2026-10-15T08:45:58","slug":"a-nun-confessed-that-she-was-distracting-the-congregation-the-priests-advice-was-not-what-she-expected-%f0%9f%98%82-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/?p=9245","title":{"rendered":"She came to confess a problem. The priest turned it into a pew-fect punchline! \ud83d\ude02"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A nun entered the confessional and whispered, \u201cFather, I think I\u2019m distracting the congregation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The priest frowned. \u201cSister, what makes you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She leaned closer and murmured, \u201cEvery time I walk past the front pew, the men suddenly become very devoted.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The priest sighed. \u201cSister\u2026 I\u2019ve noticed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She asked nervously, \u201cThen what should I do?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The priest cleared his throat, leaned toward the screen, and whispered, \u201cWell, Sister\u2026 perhaps you should stop wearing that new perfume\u2014and let me know which pew they sit in!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The nun gasped. \u201cFather! I thought you were going to tell me to pray harder!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was,\u201d he replied. \u201cBut first, I need to know which pew requires the most prayer!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A nun entered the confessional and whispered, \u201cFather, I think I\u2019m distracting the congregation.\u201d The priest frowned. \u201cSister, what makes you say that?\u201d She leaned closer and murmured, \u201cEvery time &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-new-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9245"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9246,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245\/revisions\/9246"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}