A few minutes later, the wife shook him again.<\/p>\n
“Honey… I heard footsteps!”<\/p>\n
The husband groaned, grabbed a baseball bat, and stumbled downstairs in his boxers.<\/p>\n
He checked the kitchen.<\/p>\n
The living room.<\/p>\n
The garage.<\/p>\n
Every closet.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
Finally he returned upstairs and collapsed into bed.<\/p>\n
“Nobody’s there,” he sighed.<\/p>\n
The wife looked relieved.<\/p>\n
For about thirty seconds.<\/p>\n
Then…<\/p>\n
CRASH!<\/strong><\/p>\n A loud noise echoed from downstairs.<\/p>\n The husband sat straight up.<\/p>\n The wife grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n “SEE?!”<\/p>\n Now fully awake, he stormed downstairs again.<\/p>\n This time he found the back door wide open.<\/p>\n A chair knocked over.<\/p>\n And muddy footprints leading through the kitchen.<\/p>\n His heart started pounding.<\/p>\n Someone really had been there.<\/p>\n He immediately called the police.<\/p>\n Ten minutes later, two officers arrived and searched the entire house.<\/p>\n No burglar.<\/p>\n No stolen electronics.<\/p>\n No missing jewelry.<\/p>\n Nothing.<\/p>\n One officer shrugged.<\/p>\n “Probably someone looking for an easy target. They got scared and left.”<\/p>\n The husband nodded.<\/p>\n The police left.<\/p>\n Everyone went back to bed.<\/p>\n The next morning, the husband walked downstairs and froze.<\/p>\n The kitchen table was covered with food.<\/p>\n Freshly cooked food.<\/p>\n Eggs.<\/p>\n Toast.<\/p>\n Pancakes.<\/p>\n Coffee.<\/p>\n His wife stared in disbelief.<\/p>\n “What on earth?”<\/p>\n Then they noticed a handwritten note sitting beside the coffee pot.<\/p>\n The husband picked it up and read aloud:<\/p>\n Thank you for leaving the back door unlocked.<\/p>\n Your refrigerator is terrible.<\/p>\n You need more vegetables.<\/p>\n Also, your smoke detector battery is dying.<\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/p>\n The Burglar.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The husband and wife looked at each other.<\/p>\n Completely speechless.<\/p>\n Then the husband flipped the note over.<\/p>\n There was more.<\/p>\n P.S. Your wife was right.<\/p>\n I WAS downstairs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The wife crossed her arms and smiled.<\/p>\n Slowly.<\/p>\n Very slowly.<\/p>\n Then she looked at her husband and said:<\/p>\n “Next time I say there’s a burglar in the house…”<\/p>\n The husband sighed.<\/p>\n “I’ll believe you.”<\/p>\n Then she pointed at the pancakes.<\/p>\n “And next time, maybe let him finish breakfast before calling the police.” \ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A few minutes later, the wife shook him again. “Honey… I heard footsteps!” The husband groaned, grabbed a baseball bat, and stumbled downstairs in his boxers. He checked the kitchen. … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48139,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-read-storay"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48138"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48138\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48149,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48138\/revisions\/48149"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/48139"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}