Farmer Joe loved exactly three things in life:<\/p>\n
His truck.
\nHis land.
\nAnd his prize breeding bull named Duke.<\/p>\n
Now technically Joe also loved his wife, Martha\u2026<\/p>\n
but if you listened to him talk long enough, you\u2019d start wondering if Duke ranked slightly higher.<\/p>\n
Every morning at the diner, Joe would slide into the same booth, sip burnt coffee, and brag loudly enough for the whole county to hear:<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t another bull like mine in three states.\u201d<\/p>\n
Most people ignored him.<\/p>\n
Not because they disliked Joe.<\/p>\n
But because they\u2019d heard the speech roughly nine hundred times.<\/p>\n
\u201cFolks drive from miles away,\u201d Joe continued proudly one Tuesday morning while slapping the counter. \u201cThat bull\u2019s booked solid all week.\u201d<\/p>\n
Old man Walter looked up from his pancakes.<\/p>\n
\u201cBooked?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe puffed up immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cYup. Breeding appointments.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walter blinked slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou talking about the bull or your dentist?\u201d<\/p>\n
The diner burst into laughter.<\/p>\n
Joe just grinned proudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI charge premium rates too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Martha rolled her eyes so hard it practically echoed.<\/p>\n
\u201cLord help me, the man talks about that bull more than his own children.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe ignored her completely.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou shoulda seen yesterday,\u201d he continued proudly. \u201cThree farms before lunch. Duke didn\u2019t even break a sweat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walter smirked.<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds exhausting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe leaned back dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat bull\u2019s a machine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now naturally, after hearing this nonsense for months, Walter became curious.<\/p>\n
Not about the breeding part.<\/p>\n
About the bull itself.<\/p>\n
Because anything Joe bragged about that much usually ended up disappointing.<\/p>\n
Like Joe\u2019s \u201cstate champion chili\u201d that once sent six church members home early with stomach cramps.<\/p>\n
So later that afternoon, Walter wandered over toward Joe\u2019s property carrying a lemonade just to see what all the fuss was about.<\/p>\n
Sure enough, trucks from nearby farms lined the dirt road.<\/p>\n
Joe wasn\u2019t exaggerating about the business.<\/p>\n
Farmers stood around talking while cows waited near fenced pastures looking surprisingly nervous about their afternoon plans.<\/p>\n
Then Walter spotted Duke.<\/p>\n
The legendary bull himself.<\/p>\n
Lying flat in the middle of the field.<\/p>\n
Not moving.<\/p>\n
Not grazing.<\/p>\n
Not even blinking much.<\/p>\n
Just sprawled in the grass looking spiritually exhausted.<\/p>\n
Walter laughed immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the famous hardworking bull?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked offended.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand elite livestock.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walter pointed toward Duke.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe looks retired.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe crossed his arms proudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat bull\u2019s got five farms scheduled today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walter stared again.<\/p>\n
Duke barely lifted his head.<\/p>\n
Honestly?<\/p>\n
The bull looked like he needed therapy and electrolytes.<\/p>\n
Walter walked closer to the fence grinning.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell if he\u2019s so busy, why\u2019s he laying around like a divorced uncle at a barbecue?\u201d<\/p>\n
Several farmers nearby snorted laughing.<\/p>\n
Joe frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s conserving energy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walter leaned on the fence and shouted toward the field:<\/p>\n
\u201cHEY DUKE!\u201d<\/p>\n
The bull slowly opened one eye.<\/p>\n
Walter grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you were supposed to be working all day!\u201d<\/p>\n
Duke sighed so deeply it almost sounded human.<\/p>\n
Then, without even standing up, the bull muttered:<\/p>\n
\u201cBuddy\u2026
\nif YOU had five dates lined up before dinner\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
He shifted slightly in the grass.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026you\u2019d be laying down too.\u201d<\/p>\n
The entire field exploded into laughter.<\/p>\n
One farmer nearly dropped his hat.<\/p>\n
Walter bent over wheezing.<\/p>\n
Even Martha laughed while shaking her head.<\/p>\n
But Joe?<\/p>\n
Joe looked genuinely emotional.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou hear that?\u201d he whispered proudly. \u201cSmartest damn bull in the county.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Farmer Joe loved exactly three things in life: His truck. His land. And his prize breeding bull named Duke. Now technically Joe also loved his wife, Martha\u2026 but if you … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-read-storay"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43814"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43819,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43814\/revisions\/43819"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/43815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storytv9.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}